There is so much going on in my life at the moment that I’ve seriously neglected this blog space. If people are still reading this, patiently waiting via RSS, you’re awesome.
For people coming here from Twitter or Google+, a lot of this may be repeated information.
Anyway, some things of note:
1) GottaCon. Yet again, I’m the Panels and Workshops Manager. We are expanding this area even more, so that means more work. The great thing this year is that I’m openly transgender to everyone at the convention, instead of just half of the staff. The support from everyone who works at GottaCon has been super amazing. Plus, this year, we are really pushing to make GottaCon a place for everyone. This includes having panels on LGBTQ+ issues in the gaming world, a diversity lounge, a gender-neutral washroom, and insistence that masculine pronouns are used by all guests and staff in reference to me and that personal pronouns are respected for other.
2) A pretty excellent clothes shopping experience! I’ve written a few time about how clothes shopping is a nightmare and brings on huge depression. I’ve told the following story on Google+, but I think I should share it here, too. It’s embedded for convenience. Not sure if it’ll show up in RSS feeds. And you’ll have to click the “Read more” because the Google+ embedding feature doesn’t embed posts as open.
3. Top Surgery. This is actually pretty major. Despite what I said in the post linked in 2), I’ve decided to go through with GRS. Which, in my case, means a bilateral mastectomy and chest contouring. My dysphoria has gotten so bad, I’m having nightly night-terrors fed from my dysphoria. While society will probably never see me as a man because I’ll always have an androgynous face and feminine voice, at least the government will recognize me as male and I’ll be able to change my bloody sex marker.
Related: I have a new GP and she is amazing. She has been extremely supportive of my gender, asking what I want to do about, and then, without hesitation, getting the ball rolling once I told her I need top surgery. And rolling the ball has been.
Which leads to…
4. An Indiegogo campaign. Because I’m no longer on disability, the gender therapy I need is not covered.
I became ineligible once I married an American. I have to reapply for disability medical benefits only once Andrew becomes a permanent citizen, which will take a couple years. Until then, we have to pay everything out of pocket. Between my lupus meds and new diet because of allergies, money is tight right now.
So, a friend of mine told me to start a crowd funding campaign. And I did. Within the first 48 hours, I’ve reached 61% of my minimum goal! People have been amazing. It would be really awesome if I’m able to raise my maximum goal, which is $4500. I have some pretty good extra perks as stretch goals.
If the momentum of the campaign stays, I should be able to reach a number of my stretch goals, which has me pretty chuffed. Anyway, you can check out the campaign via the embedded thing below. And be sure to read the updates. There’s some really important information in them. And to see an easy to read image of the stretch goals, check out the gallery.
5. She did it again. Remember when my mother used Kid2 to give me a cheque that was made out to a person that doesn’t exist? Well, this year she decided to do the same thing, but with a small difference. This year, she made the cheque out to just my dead first name. No last name, making the cheque difficult, if not impossible, to cash in person at the bank. If it was dead name plus last name, I could have cashed it in a SCREW YOU fashion and use it on the kids like I did last year, because the bank has my dead name on record just in case. But, nope. Just a first name. Then, someone on Google+ reminded me about the “take a picture to cash a cheque” feature. My bank only implemented it a few weeks ago, so I had forgotten it was a thing that was possible. So, I’ll cash the cheque via the app. Sure, it will have a hold. Sure, it may not clear. But, I may get lucky and, also, I’m avoiding the hassle of going to a bank teller and hoping they would cash a cheque that isn’t made out properly.
It’s a good thing I have my first gender therapy appointment on Tuesday, because this has put me in a really dark place. Until then, I just have to hang on to the fact that there are awesome people in my who accept and love me for who I am, and have made counselling possible because of their generosity.
6. I’m desperately seeking out custom WordPress theme design work to pay for my lupus medications. I wrote about it some months ago on Geeky Pleasures. In case you are interested in knowing more, here’s the link.
There is more stuff going on, but it’s so much, I can’t recall what it is until I’m doing it. Some of it is excellent. Some of it not so much. I probably should have led with the bad news and ended on the good. Sorry.
TL;DR: I’m still alive and managing. Some days it’s a struggle but, thankfully, I have some really amazing people in my life and have found a good GP after two years of searching; a GP who is very supportive of me. There is a lot of transphobia in the medical community. Also, I’m my GP’s first (openly) trans patient. So, I’m even more impressed with the care she is giving me. She also asks some wonderful question.
And even though it will be a long time before the surgery happens (long waitlist in B.C.), at least I’m on the path to get there; a path that will make my body align a little bit more with my brain. I will still have hips that I have to hide, but the government will acknowledge that I’m a man and for me, that is important.
How are things with you all?